The Last Laugh
by HSH
Summary: The final battle between Batman and the Joker and the resulting aftermath of it.
1. Armeggedon

Batman drives up to the abandoned building in the Batmobile. Batman opens the door and gets out of the car before heading into the building.

A boy named, Tommy Jones has been kidnapped. The boy isn't just any boy though; he is the son of a very rich and wealthy family which is close friends with the president.

The kidnappers had demanded a ransom of $40,000,000. The money was paid and the boy's location was revealed to be this abandoned building. Suspecting a trap, the police sent Batman to retrieve him.

Batman kicks the door open and runs into the building. Batman runs through the halls, searching frantically for the boy. Batman activates his heat sensory goggles and looks around. He sees a heated body on the floor above.

Batman runs to a staircase and hurries up the stairs. He scans around the hall before noticing a heated body coming from a closet.

He runs to the door and flings it open and finds a terrified young boy tied up and gagged in a corner. The boy tries talking but can't since he is gagged.

Batman walks over to him and pulls the tape off his mouth. "Bomb!" the boy screams. Instinctively, Batman grabs the boy and with him, dives out of the closet. They land in the hall and Batman shields them both with his cape.

The ground shakes and fire surrounds Batman and the boy but since his cape is flame resistant, they are protected from the inferno.

The floor breaks and Batman and the boy begin to fall. The boy screams as Batman maintains a tight grip on him. Batman spreads his cape out and uses it to glide safely to the ground.

Batman stands up and starts untying the boy "Are you alright?" The boy nods, scared. From behind, Batman is attacked and knocked to the ground.

Batman looks up and sees Harley Quinn standing over him with a giant mallet. "Hiya Mr. B!" Harley shouts before swinging the bat again.

Batman dodges it and Harley falls forward from the force of the swing. Harley recovers from the swing and picks up the mallet to swing again but Batman grabs it and pulls it out of her hand before hitting her in the face with it, knocking her out.

A shotgun shot is then heard and Batman spins around and sees the Joker standing there with a shotgun. The Joker shoots again but Batman dodges it and throws the mallet into his face.

The Joker screams in pain, drops the gun, and falls backwards. The Joker regains his footing only to be punched in the face by Batman. Batman then kicks him in his chest, sending him into the wall behind him.

The Joker hits the wall and slumps to the ground. Batman walks over to him. The Joker reawakens and smiles at Batman, "You really play to rough, Batsy, you know that?"

Batman grabs the Joker by his collar, picks him up and slams him into the wall. "So what's it going to be? Broken ribs? Full body cast? Take your pick!" Joker declares.

"How about none," a voice says from behind just before a shot rings out. Batman falls away from the Joker. Joker looks up and sees Harley standing there holding a shotgun with smoke coming from it. "Mistah J, I finally did it! I killed Batman!" Harley declares with delight.


	2. Dial R For Revenge

The Joker looks down at his fallen enemy, saddened. "Are you proud of me, Mistah J?" Harley asks eagerly.

Joker ignores her and walks over to Batman. He kneels by him and checks for a pulse there is none. Joker puts his head down.

"Mistah J?" Harley repeats. Joker gets up, "You know Harley…" Joker turns around to face her, "There is no way to describe how I feel right now…" Joker walks over to her, Harley smiles. "Other than by saying how upset and depressed I am," Joker says calmly before grabbing the shotgun out of her hand and hitting her over the head with.

Harley falls to the ground. Blood is coming from her head. She looks at him, scared, "Mistah J?" "Why Harley, why did you destroy my main fun in life, why?" Joker demands, angrily.

"I thought that is what you wanted? Didn't you want to kill Batman?" Harley asks, scared, with this being the first time she (or anyone for that matter has ever really seen him angry).

"I never really wanted to kill him. It was always a game between me and him! I start some mischief he'd come in, we'd fight, have some laughs, he wins, sends me to Arkham, and then it starts all over again! Being his arch-enemy has always been my favorite thing! But now you have ruined it!" Joker screams as he hits her with the butt of the gun several times.

Harley screams as she's being beaten. "I'm sorry! I didn't know how important he was to you? I can make it up to you, I promise! Maybe we can just now fight Robin!" Harley pleads.

Joker starts kicking her in her chest multiple times, "No! No! No! It's not the same! Why can't you understand?" Joker stops kicking her and aims the shotgun at her, "You will pay for what you've done!"

"Please don't kill me! Don't you love me? I thought that you loved me? Didn't you say that?" Harley cries.

Joker lowers the shotgun, "Your right, I'm sorry Harley and your right I do love you." Joker helps her up.

"Now, me and Batman need a moment alone so can you just go on and drive the truck back to our hideout and we'll meet up there?" Joker asks, now smiling and acting as if everything is fine.

Harley stops crying, "Sure thing Pudding!" She then runs out of the hideout to the truck outside.

Joker walks over to the door and watches as Harley gets into the car and starts driving away. Joker waits before she gets a considerable distance away before pulling out a detonator and activating it. The truck then lights up into fireworks and explodes. The remains of the truck fly into all directions.

For once the Joker doesn't laugh at death and just simply drops the detonator and reenters the hideout. He then heads over to Batman's body to say some last words.


	3. Parting Words

Joker walks over to Batman's body before turning around and seeing Tommy sitting in the corner, crying. "Scram, kid," Joker says before turning back to Batman. Tommy gets up and runs out of the building.

Joker sits down beside him, "You know, Bats, it's going to be very hard for me. Without you crime has no punch line. I mean let's face it, Gordon's a good cop but GCPD doesn't stand a chance against me. Neither does Robin, or Batgirl, or Nightwing, or any of those heroes. If it weren't for you I would have destroyed Gotham by now and where's the fun in that?"

"This is starting to get me thinking of our first encounter before I became the Joker. You remember don't you? When I robbed that chemical factory, some joke on me, am I right. I mean one moment my comrades are being killed by the guards and then you show up and scare the crap out of me. I remember just running and instinctively diving into the vat of chemicals, at least that's what I remember happening, maybe you pushed me or maybe I just tripped I don't remember what happened exactly I just remember being scared out of my wits." Joker starts laughing.

Joker then gets up," Well I guess that it's now time to bury you isn't it?" Joker grabs Batman by his legs and drags him away.

He carries him outside and places him down on the dirt. Joker then leaves and returns with a shovel. Joker starts digging a hole and after several hours, a big enough hole has been dug.

He then dumps Batman's body into the hole. "Good bye, I'll miss you," Joker says, sadly before tossing dirt in. Eventually he completely buries him.

"Now there's something missing… oh yes, of course, a tombstone!" Joker says before running off. He returns with a big rock and he carves on it, "RIP Batman". Joker places the tombstone on the grave.

Joker pulls the flower off of his suit and places it on the grave. Joker then walks away.

Joker walks a good distance away from the building before reaching a convenient store. Joker enters it. The only person in it is a cashier. The cashier freezes with panic upon seeing him.

Joker smiles before pulling out a switchblade, "Put on a happy face!" Joker then laughs before grabbing the man and cutting through his cheeks, giving him a Glasgow smile. Joker lets go of the man who falls to the ground.

Joker's smile fades, "See not the same." Joker sits down next to the dead man and pulls out his cell phone and dials 911.

"911 emergencies," the operator says. "This is the Joker speaking, I'm down at Johnson's Convenient Store and I'm tired so I would like to go back to Arkham now, please," Joker says.

"Look if this is some sort of prank that it isn't funny," the operator says, angrily. "Just come down to Johnson's Convenient Store and you will see that for once I am not joking," Joker says, irritated.

"I'll send men down there, right away," the operator says. "Good," Joker says before hanging up and tossing the phone to the ground. Joker turns to the body, "Here that, I'm coming home." Joker then leans back on the encounter and awaits the police's arrival.


	4. Home Sweet Home

Joker is escorted into Arkham Asylum by the guards. He is wearing an orange jumpsuit and a straight jacket and is strapped to a roller. He is also wearing a "Hannibal Lector" mask. "It's good to be home," the Joker says to himself, not smiling.

Dr. Arkham walks up to the guards, "Take him to cell block C." "Yes sir," one of the guards says before escorting him away.

The Joker is brought into his cell. A guard stands outside the cell with a tranquilizer gun. "If you try anything then I'll shoot," the guard threatens.

Joker sighs and says, "What's the point?" He is then unstrapped from the roller and the guards take off his mask. They then proceed to remove his straight jacket.

The guards then leave the cell and the Joker lies down in his bed. It doesn't take the Joker long to fall asleep.

Weeks go by with the Joker hardly saying a word. He doesn't cause any trouble nor does he crack any jokes. When asked what he's planning, the Joker simply doesn't reply. His behavior is overall, zombielike.

He continues to go on this way until one day while eating lunch, a fellow inmate approaches him.

The Joker is silently eating his food when an inmate goes up to him. "So you're the legendary Joker huh?" the inmate asks. The Joker doesn't respond and continues eating his food, silently.

"You know when I first came here I thought that you would be big and scary and you would be the top gun but now I see the truth, your nothing but a big pussy," the inmate says before waiting for a response.

He doesn't get one since the Joker doesn't respond and just continues eating. The inmate snatches the Joker's tray from him and slams it in the Joker's face, getting the food all over him.

The inmate then starts laughing at what he did. The Joker starts laughing quietly. The Joker then peals some of the food off of his face, using his finger and licks it off.

Suddenly, the Joker shoots his index and middle finger out, straight through the inmate's eyes, into his socket, killing him.

The inmate falls to the ground, dead and the Joker starts laughing hysterically. Guards take notice of what happened rush over to him.

The Joker continues laughing even as he is brutally beaten down by the guards with their batons. The Joker eventually succumbs to his beating and loses consciousness.

The Joker spends about a month in the infirmary. While there he doesn't say or do anything. He doesn't even smile.

After he recovers, he is sent to solitary confinement where he remains, silently for another month.

Eventually, the Joker is freed and is returned to his normal cell and continues his regular routine. After what he did to that inmate, nobody dared cross his path, despite his lack of activity.

Joker continues his near cationic state until one day when someone resembling Batman, enters the Asylum, escorting a recently escaped Scarecrow.

Joker's eyes widen once he catches wind of the live alive and well Batman. He immediately starts banging on the glass and start screaming, "Batsy!" over and over again.


	5. Let Freedon Reign

Ever since he saw Batman, the Joker has begun the planning for his escape but continues to act lifeless.

His lack of activity has eventually lowered the guard's expectations of what he could do. One day, at the end of lunch, the guard who is about to escort him back to his cell, makes the mistake of turning his back to the Joker, while talking to a fellow guard. The Joker takes advantage of the situation by grabbing the guard's baton from his belt and hitting him over the head with it, knocking him out.

Before the other guard could react, the Joker leaps at him and snaps his neck. The Joker then throws the baton in the face of another guard, stunning him but fails to knock him out.

The guard shoots a dart at the Joker who avoids it by pulling another guard in front of him, using him as a human shield. The dart knocks out the guard.

The Joker then pulls out that guards dart gun and shoots the other guard who shot at him with it.

Another set of guards at the other side of the cafeteria, notice what he did so they rush over to him.

The Joker runs away, into the kitchen. The Joker sneaks up on the cook from behind and snaps his neck. He then walks over to a crate and opens it. Inside is several laughing gas grenades.

"Ah… it's been a long time since I've used these babies," the Joker says before tossing one of them out the kitchen window, at the guards.

The grenade explodes and the guards fall to the ground, laughing uncontrollably. The Joker laughs to but not as a result of the poison but from the humor of it.

He opens another crate and pulls out a shotgun. "Now that's what I'm talking about it," Joker says, with a very big grin.

The Joker then exits the cafeteria, into the halls. The Joker is greeted by several guards, whom he quickly shoots down. The Joker continues through the halls, killing any guard that comes his way.

The Joker continues through the halls until he is stopped by a barrier of guards who are blocking a hall.

"Give it up, Joker," one of the guards orders. "As if," the Joker says before laughing. The Joker then pulls out a grenade and tosses it at them. It explodes and the guards quickly laugh themselves to death.

The Joker then continues through the halls and kills more guards, unchallenged. The Joker then makes his way to the front door before exiting the building.

Outside the Joker finds that guards are all over the grounds with their guns aimed directly at him.

"Drop your gun Joker! You can't escape!" a guard using a bullhorn, says. The Joker laughs before aiming the shotgun at his head. "Get out of my way or I'll shoot myself. Now that will be something interesting to report to the police now wouldn't it?" Joker taunts.

A trigger happy guard then shoots the Joker in his shoulder with a real gun. The Joker falls backwards to the ground.

The guards surround the Joker. "Somebody call an ambulance!" a guard says. Shortly after hearing this, the Joker black out.

The Joker wakes up in an ambulance. There is only one person with him. That person is a guard who has his back turned to him.

The Joker sits up and snaps the guard's neck. The Joker then picks up the guards gun and aims it at the driver.

"Hey jeeves heads up!" the Joker screams. The driver turns around just as the Joker shoots him in his face, blood splatters all over the ambulance and all over the Joker's face.

The Joker laughs hysterically before saying, "Ewe." The Joker then climbs into the driver's seat and drives away.


	6. Highway To Hell

The Joker rampages throughout the city using the ambulance, trying to draw Batman out. He runs over several pedestrians and hits several cars. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" the Joker says, laughing.

Several cop cars start following him. Joker turns to the dead driver, beside him. "Excuse me, jeeves, do you mind taking over for me?" Joker then opens the driver door window and leans out, holding the guard's shotgun.

The Joker opens fire on the squad car. The Joker eventually shoots the driver in his head. "Bulls eye!" he screams out, laughing.

He then returns back through the window, just in time to see that he is heading straight towards a car trying to get through the intersection.

"Fasten your seat belts passengers, it's going to be a bumpy ride," the Joker says, seconds before the ambulance smashes passed the car.

After totaling the car, Joker notices that several more squad cars are following him. "When will they ever learn to stop?"

Just then one of the tires is shot. Before the Joker could curse, he notices the Batmobile coming towards him.

The Joker floors the car straight towards the Batmobile. "Batsy, I'm coming!" the Joker shouts out as the ambulance crashes through a car and flies through the air, straight at the Batmobile.

The Joker jumps out of the ambulance just as it collides with the Batmobile and both vehicles crash into a car garage.


	7. The Dissapointment

The Joker struggles to his feet. He had just broken his arm and a few ribs as well as sprained his ankle. The Joker groans before bending over and picking up his shotgun. He then limps into the garage.

The Joker enters the garage and notices the wrecked ambulance and Batmobile. The Joker walks over to the Batmobile.

"Where o' where could my little bat be?" Joker asks himself. "Right here, Joker," Batman says before disarming him and throwing him to the ground.

The Joker looks up at him, smiling. The smile quickly fades as he notices that this Batman is significantly younger.

"Who are you?" Joker demands. "I'm Batman who did you think I am?" "Batman" answers annoyed.

"No you're not, Batman is older. You're just a kid, probably Robin trying to take his place. I didn't go through all the trouble of escaping the Asylum just to see some punk kid dressed as Batman," Joker says, angrily.

"Batman" grabs the Joker by his collar and lifts him off the ground. "Fine since the secrets out, I might as well ask you what happened to the original Batman. Last I saw him he was going after you and your girlfriend and then he never returns. What did you do to him?"

"The same thing I'm going to do to you, Batfake," Joker says before ripping himself out of his grasp. The Joker drops to the ground and kicks him in his groin. "Batman" groans and falls to his knees. The Joker then rolls away.

"Batman" struggles to his feet but before he can walk towards him, the Joker pulls out a detonator and activates it.

The ambulance explodes, destroying the Batmobile as well. Flame consumes the garage. Joker climbs to his feet and limps to the exit. Before leaving, the Joker turns around and says, "Good bye, Batfake." The Joker then leaves the burning garage.


	8. The Break Out

Outside of the garage, police men are everywhere. Some are even posted on rooftops. The Joker puts his hands up. "Yeah, yeah whatever, you win," Joker says, getting to his knees.

The Joker is then arrested and taken back to Arkham Asylum. He is put back into solitary confinement.

Joker paces through his cell. _What am I going to? Should I just kill myself? There is nothing else for me to do so I don't see why not. Then again there is one thing that I would like to do before doing that. Wait! Maybe I could do that and kill myself at once! Oh yes that is good plan! I am such a genius for coming up with that! _

The Joker then starts bursting into laughter. _Now I must start thinking about escaping. Oh I know! I've been saving this one for a special occasion! _

The Joker pulls one of the loose bricks off the wall of the cell, revealing a detonator. The Joker picks it up and presses the button on it.

There is a loud noise and the ground shakes. The Joker falls to the ground from all the shaking and starts laughing almost uncontrollably.

A guard opens the door. "Joker, get on your feet. We need to evacuate, we're under attack! A bomb went off!" the guard exclaims.

The Joker jumps to his feet and kicks the guard in his groin. The guard falls to his knees in front of the Joker. "Why?" the guard asks. "Because it's funny," the Joker answers before snapping his neck.

The Joker picks up the guard's gun and exits the cell. Joker shoots a dart into the other guard in the hall's neck.

The Joker walks to a side door and exits the building. After getting outside, the Joker turns to the building and sees that half of it is on fire. The Joker laughs upon seeing it.

The Joker walks to the gate which several guards are guarding. Pressing the other button on the detonator, the Joker blows up the gate, killing the guards in the process.

The Joker then smashes a side window of a car, opens the door, and gets in. He hotwires the car and drives passed the remains of the gate, away from Arkham.


	9. Satisfaction

The Joker arrives at one of his old hideouts. He walks over to his Jokermobile. He opens the trunk and smiles at the nuclear warhead that he has tucked away in there. The Joker closes the trunk and climbs into the driver's seat.

He then exits his hideout and drives to the Gotham Power Plant. He drives straight through the front door and runs over the secretary.

He blows up a wall in his way by firing missiles at it before continuing to the core of it. Guards surround the Jokermobile as he enters the core.

Joker presses a button and machine guns pop out of the car from all directions. The machine guns blow away the guards. Blood fills the entire area.

Joker gets out of the car and laughs. He bends over and scoops up some blood with his finger and tastes it. "Ketchup, the stuff my momma puts on hotdogs," Joker cackles.

He then walks to the back of the car and opens the hood. The Joker then pulls out a grenade launcher and aims it at the war head. "Now for the grand finale," Joker says.

"You're not going to blow up Gotham," a voice from behind says. Joker turns around and finds himself face to face with the new Batman.

"What the… How are you still alive? I thought that I blew you up to kingdom come!" Joker demands, angrily.

"My cape is flame resistant," Batman retorts. "Ah… I see that you have the same resourcefulness that our old friend once had," Joker says.

"I'm not going to let you destroy Gotham City," Batman says. "Just try and stop me, kid," Joker says.

"You know that you'll die to, right?" Batman asks. "That's the idea. If I'm going to go then I would like to go out with a bang!" Joker laughs.

"Why are you willing to do this?" Batman inquires. "Because life just isn't fun anymore, I have no joy in life," Joker explains.

"Why, because the original Batman died?" Batman asks. "Precisely" "I thought that you hated him. You two were mortal enemies." "Yeah… I miss him."

"So this is what it's about, you're bored because you think that no one else is capable of stopping you?" Batman asks. "Yeah, now if you excuse me I have a city to destroy."

"What if I could be your new nemesis?" Batman asks. "You can't, kid. Your good, but your no Batman," Joker says before turning back to the warhead.

Before the Joker can fire, Batman knocks the grenade launcher out of his hand, to the ground.

The Joker growls, angrily and turns to him, "You really shouldn't have done that, kid." Batman lunges into the Joker but the Joker stuns him, using his joy buzzer. Batman is electrocuted and knocked to the ground, stunned.

"You have spirit, kid, I'll give you that. And you know what else, since I'm so nice, I'll let you live long enough to see the fireworks," Joker says before kicking at his face but Batman grabs his foot. He then causes the Joker to lose his balance and fall to the floor.

"You just don't know when to quit do you?" Joker asks. He then kicks Batman in his face, repeatedly.

Joker then gets back on his feet. "You know what else I'm gonna give you?" Joker pulls out a crow bar. "De ja vu, am I right, kid," Joker laughs before brutally beating him down with the crow bar. Joker laughs as he continues beating him senseless.

Joker soon realizes that he is having fun brutalizing him. Joker throws the crow bar down. "You win, kid. I guess fighting you will be fun after all," Joker holds out his hands for him to cuff him.

Batman looks at him dumbly for a few seconds before realizing that the Joker is giving himself up. Batman pulls out the bat cuffs and cuffs the Joker. Batman then leads the Joker away.

The End?


End file.
